Tuesday, March 18, 2008


to leave; leaving
–verb (used with object)
1. to go out of or away from, as a place: to leave the house.
2. to depart from permanently; quit: to leave a job.
3. to let remain or have remaining behind after going, disappearing, ceasing, etc.: I left my wallet home. The wound left a scar.
4. to allow to remain in the same place, condition, etc.: Is there any coffee left?
5. to let stay or be as specified: to leave a door unlocked.
6. to let (a person or animal) remain in a position to do something without interference: We left him to his work.
7. to let (a thing) remain for action or decision: We left the details to the lawyer.
8. to give in charge; deposit; entrust: Leave the package with the receptionist. I left my name and phone number.
9. to stop; cease; give up: He left music to study law.
10. to disregard; neglect: We will leave this for the moment and concentrate on the major problem.

Thanks Dictionary.com; sentences 100% theirs too.

Someone once told me that when I find that the girls I work with cease to break my heart, it's time for me to move on. Judging by the tears I've mopped up today, I'll be here a while yet.

Leaving often implies grief. But how do you grieve someone who was never yours... someone who never let themselves be yours.

People always leave.
I know that.
Not everyone leaves.
I know that too.
Ever been there when words aren't enough? When you would do anything to make them stay? Even when they don't want to? Even when staying would make them miserable and you want to scream because they are so difficult?

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ”
--Eleanor Roosevelt--

So much of life I have learned only by travelling through the process. I know this beautiful young woman must do the same. I will cry tmorrow when I say goodbye. I will wrap her in my arms and pray that she and her darling daughter will be safe on their journey, no matter how difficult it becomes, no matter how many times she will want to quit. I will hold her tight and breathe in her memory and will a bit of my strength and faith into her. Relatively speaking, this loss is not as great as many. Tonight it is great. Tomorrow I will miss my young sister.


staceyhoff said...

Hi Rachel,
I just saw your comment on my blog, thanks for reaching out :)
Your words were encouraging.
I am sorry for your grief as one of the girls moves on. I hope you will be able to keep in touch with her. I joined you in asking God to cover her and her daughter under His wing. Hugs, Stacey

Linda said...

Oh Rachel - I was just thinking how reflective of God's love all of those things are that you are feeling. I will be joining you in prayer, and understanding pieces of what you're feeling.
Love you!

Bess said...

It's true: The moment you don't care and don't "mourn" on that moving out day is the moment your heart has changed and it's time to leave.

I'm so glad your time there is not yet over. Those girls and their babies need to continue to see Jesus in you.