This past week was comprised of our third annual trip to CFO camp. (For the curious cats who want to know what that is go here to the camp association or here to learn about the founder.) I joined in this tradition as a staff member of House of His Creation, and go to family camp with all our girls is what we do the last week of June.
The summary is:
YEAR ONE 2006:
Seasoned campers: participating in exuberant praising, worshipping, speaking in tongues, dancing, praising some more making friends, reacquainting with old ones
Me: watching from the outside in, thinking, "is this exprsssion and emotion ok? It looks awesome, but seriously"; gingerly accepting all the enthusiastic welcome, keeping track of our grumpy girls and encouraging them to participate, and worshipping and learning right along with everyone else.
YEAR TWO 2007:
Seasoned campers: see year one only add in one formerly grumpy resident who is attending of her own free will just after graduation from our program and from high school
Me: worshipping, praising some more, making friends, reacquainting with old ones, keeping track of this years residents and seeking to keep the bad boys away from them, learning to recognize when God speaks directly to me and receiving some specific, amazing prophetic prayer as a result.
YEAR THREE 2008:
Seasoned campers: see year one...once again including the same resident who is attending in joy seeking God and His refuge from the crush of daily life as she knows it
Me: I will never be the same. Prayers said throughout all my Christian life came together in a few short days..."show me your glory", "break me so you can use me", "set me free from this body of sin"...I'm sure there are others, but the precedence to the freedom and release included not only the last week of fighting some intense warfare and losing some of those battles, but also weeks and months of teaching on grace and the Holy Spirit and my position in Christ. I can never do justice to what has changed in me this week. I could rewrite this post a huindred times and still be frustrated at how I cannot portray God. The best summary I can come up with at present is that when I, you, get to the place where you are flat on your face before God....yes, literally, telling Him it is all too much and you simply cannot, you are in a better place than you have ever been.
This past week deepened my perspective on community, accountability, the arts in worship, sovereignty, and freedom in Christ. I will have to come back to some of those individually. My mind and soul are still absorbing it all. God meets us in our everyday. Not a shocking statement....but how often do we truly see all the nuances of His presence? His sound? His feel? Yes, even His smell? So until I am anointed with eloquence or just honesty, enjoy some pictures and pray that, as promised, "He will complete what HE has begun in me."
Oh yes...and all three girls with us this year participated with ease and enjoyment.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
proud strangers straining to see
marching band tribute
clumsy half-adults keeping cadence
blurry photos of the back of people's heads
bored distracted listeners
confetti of hats and tassles
the real world
drum roll please
are you ready
hope you have everything you need
it's time to take on the world
In the midst of excited teenagers, well-wishers, speeches, gowns, hats and picnic food I found myself looking in from my side of the real world. I felt almost annoyed at the number of times the "real world" was mentioned.
I think your view of the real world is better than most. You see people as they are, not as they want you to. You want more than you see out of your friends, your family and your life. You have grown in so many ways these past couple years. I feel privileged to have been allowed to watch from the sidelines with an occasional time-out conversation. Your dad once told me that he thinks I lived with your family not as a sabbatical to figure out my own destiny, but for you. I am still stunned by that. I think it is the greatest compliment I have ever received. Whatever it is in me that you can stand to hang out with me, is....who knows. God. One step at a time, follow His voice. Learn to recognize it. Learn to wait for it. Learn to treasure it above all else. You're a few weeks into the summer now as I finally finish this draft in July. Perhaps the reality of the graduation milestone has hit, probably not fully. The cards and memorabilia have been tucked into safekeeping. Remember the conversation around the campfire. That's what it's all about. Big drawers and all!! Remember the faces, the hearts of the friends won for God. Keep going strong. Keep your heart with diligence....it is your source of living water.