pilgrim wanderings

today i'm wondering if i will ever get it through my head that God really will answer when i cry out; when i ramble on, telling him all that i know, but don't believe; all that i believe, but don't do; all that i feel, but don't have words to express; all that i hope for, but fear isn't even true. and he pours out grace and brings tears to prove it and puts melodies in my heart like:

Guide me, O thou great Jehovah,
pilgrim through this barren land.
I am weak, but thou art mighty;
hold me with thy powerful hand.
Bread of heaven, bread of heaven,
feed me till I want no more;
feed me till I want no more.

Open now the crystal fountain,
whence the healing stream doth flow;
let the fire and cloudy pillar
lead me all my journey through.
Strong deliverer, strong deliverer,
be thou still my strength and shield;
be thou still my strength and shield.

When I tread the verge of Jordan,
bid my anxious fears subside;
death of death and hell's destruction,
land me safe on Canaan's side.
Songs of praises, songs of praises,
I will ever give to thee;
I will ever give to thee.

Drink (To Disconnect)

Drink (To Disconnect)
by Jimmy Ballenger



To disconnect
And live in peace
Embracing now
This sweet release

To cease and desist from asking, "Why?"
For fear that in this, my soul would die
By the underlying worry that accompanies such
When life doesn't seem to be going much
The way I'd hoped
The way I'd planned
The way I thought it would someday be
Even though I know that it still someday could

Be thankful for the things you have
You might not now, but you'd be glad
If, after waking one day to find that they're lost
The sun does not go down without their return
For family, for friends, and treasured memories
Upon which no price can be laid
No cost to be paid
Treasure these deep within your heart

Blink, think, take a drink
For a moment, but sip
Slow down the empty pace of your caffeinated life
And take in slowly
The beauty of all that is around you
And be thankful that God has given you this day
Who knows but that it could be the best day of your life
A little bit of gratitude can give you such an attitude
That you see the good in everything around
Even when it seems that all you see is darkness
Hope lies in the light at the end of the tunnel
Keep moving on

But hide yourself in accomplishments
In all that this world rewards
And ask yourself at the end of the day
When all is said and done
And after all you've said and done
You're all done
Having done
More than Einstein
More than Edison
More than any man, woman, or child that ever walked the face of this planet Earth
Are you happy?
Do you find yourself fulfilled
Having pushed away the weightier matters
Burdening your soul with the lighter substance?

But let's return to our drink
For a moment
Taking in all that you consider precious
And sip
Again
Like I said
Why not stop and enjoy this moment
Slowly
While you have it
Who knows how long you will?
And if you miss the beauty of it all, can you ever get it back?

So drink, slowly, the sweet substance of life
Even if for a moment, it may change your whole perspective
And take it in with gratefulness in your heart
Draining away all your worries and cares
And be thankful that at least you've been given this much, if nothing else
Take it from someone who's learned the hard way
Thank God, thank God, thank God for this beautiful day
It is a gift from Him just for you, and He would never take it back, no matter what
So why would you?
Drink.

"...it makes my apartment smell mossy"

...can you name that movie?

Anyway, the real business at hand! One of our Re.struct products was featured on a thoughtful life. Click below to see the entire post.

a place on this earth

[photo: ashleyelizabeth photography ]
Find me a place on the earth
Where a weary man can rest
And listen for your voice
In the turning seasons

A quiet place in the world
Where I can bow
And confess that I fear
Where you have brought me,
Mysterious God

All of my life
You have been with me
My comfort in loneliness
My hope in the dark
All of my life
Lord, please stay with me
Be my sustaining breath
Guardian of my heart

My days are passing by
Like falling stars
That blaze across the night sky
Then they are gone

But Father, at your side
I will never be afraid
For you have held all my days
In the palm of your hand

All of my life
You have been with me
My comfort in loneliness
My hope in the dark
All of my life
Lord, please stay with me
Be my sustaining breath
Guardian of my heart

All of my life
You have been with me
My comfort in loneliness
My hope in the dark
All of my life
Lord, please stay with me
Be my sustaining breath
Guardian of my heart

Be my sustaining breath
Guardian of my heart

Be my sustaining breath
Be my sustaining breath
Be my sustaining breath

- fernando ortega

infusion

Monson, Massachusetts cannot boast of much. However, it is home to some of my all-time favorite people. And so it is to Monson that I escape as often as possible, but never often enough. This past weekend was one of those escapes.

Various members of this favorite group of people have been pestering me to come since Christmas time. The pestering follows a pattern of Katie [oldest daugher] first, Cassie [youngest daughter] next, Alyssa [mom] next, and when it's really desperate, Dan [dad] chimes in. When it starts with dad [and the uncle too]...it's serious. Between the demands of cost, car repairs and schedule it took till now to actually get there. The pestering got so serious a contract was thrown in. That's right. Contract. That's a whole 'nother post. [Hmm. Good idea.]

There is nothing in the world like arriving at this home. It starts with ascending a winding driveway bewteen tall pines, and continues with stepping out of my car, stiff from the drive to pause in the shadow of the trees, look up at the stars and breathe deep in the stillness. As I step into the garage below the house, I smile at the familiar creak and answering bang of the screen door. The windows lit in welcome above me seem to smile back. Walking through the lower hall and letting my footsteps fall on the green wooden stairs, I know that at the top I will find firelight and friends.

And so begins a weekend of simply being together. Of letting each day take it's own course. Of waking up each day to remember more updates to share over coffee, new sarcasm to inflict, and more memories to make.

Back in the quiet of my own apartment I resolve to get better pictures next time. Yet it feels that to try and photograph this essence would somehow break the spell. In no other place do I let myself so infuse into just being. You cannot photograph infusion. Perhaps someday I will try. I captured a few moments from our day in Rhode Island. Despite the freezing hurricane rain we explored a new state [for me]. We toured a Vanderbilt mansion in surreal European glamour.

The pounding surf caused us to abandon the idea of a cliff walk above the sea around the mansion neighborhood. Next time, we said. Next time and gave up on the outdoors to eat breakfast for lunch at a local cafe. Warm, full and dry for at least a little while, we walked the cobblestone streets of old Newport, ducking into an art store, a cigar shop and the army & navy outlet for brief reprieves from the weather. We wandered down to the water to the fishing wharf.







There we met Janet, counted lobster tanks, peeked in the dockmasters office [nothing else would fit, but apparantly he was in here somewhere. we saw glimpses], noticed the lack of fish in the sea, and snapped the only photo of us from the entire weekend....which was a win on the first try. All around win. We started the drive home via scenic Ocean Drive to enjoy mansions old and new. Add this city to your list of things to do.

My favorite meal...well, one of them...blue cheese-bacon burgers, chicken tortilla soup, salsa and guacamole w/chips in case your wondering...was being served back the ranch at 6pm, but we had to squeeze in a few more minutes of sponteneity and so drove on through Providence just to see what there was to see. Again, due to weather, this piece of our adventure wasn't much but a drive through. But with bands such as the Squirrel Nut Zippers blasting through the Ipod, fun was a guarantee. We decided to run in Dave and Busters for a couple quick games....2 quarters in the meter [30 minutes was all the time we had], a windblown hat [safely rescued], entering an elevator at it's final floor but needing to go three floors higher, 4 escalators, $14, 2 driving races, skeeball and 82 tokens later [which wouldn't even buy a ring pop to share], we donated the tickets to a kid and ran back down said escalators to our car before serious tickets were handed out. Whew. And onward home to firelight and that fantastic meal with amazing friends. [spoiled? yea. I know. great, huh?]

The four short days of this visit were packed with an art show, a church study group dinner, church worship, surprise updates with old friends, card games, fish watching, latte making, a trip to another state, dinner with friends, one on ones, thoughts of God presence here and abroad, pilfered music, late nights, sage advice and warm hugs. Good things indeed.

oh, it's definitely spring!

ready for spring

do as I do

I've had the phrase, 'go into homes of the broken' in my head lately. I'm not sure if I heard this song prior or not. It seems to be the theme of the discipleship mission God has for me this season.

You lived among the least of these
The weary and the weak
And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away.

All my needs you have supplied.
When I was dead you gave me life.
How could I not give it away so freely?

Use my hands, use my feet
To make your kingdom come
Through the corners of the earth
Until your work is done
'Cause Faith without works is dead
And on the cross your blood was she'd
So how could I not give it away so freely?

And I'll follow you into the homes that are broken.
Follow you into the world.
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God.
Follow you into the World.

And I give all myself... to you.




Who is God calling you to disciple these days? Are they coming to you, or are you going to them?

Will you come with me to lose your life going where you've never been? Are you unwilling to gain your life seeking what you've never seen? - Hiram Ring

Weight loss tips I heard on the way to the office today....

Floss

Shave your head

Sleep

- unknown